We all have a fire inside, but just like any fire, it needs the right conditions to spark and grow into an enormous power source. In many ways, from intense heat in dry conditions to the clashing of two materials, a spark is born. The potential of that spark is astronomical, so long as we know what to do to nurture it to full growth. It needs earth or some sort of grounded energy source for it to latch onto and consume and air so it can breathe deep and expand its flames. Water, of course, is the flame’s close enemy. Knowing these parameters helps create a fire that will burn until it not longer can, or until it no longer serves us.
What sets our souls on fire to reach our burning passions? The answer is not as clear as the classic flame. We are all so different in our backgrounds, interests, environments, resources, goals, etc. The fire inside us is our motivation; our motivation to give our life force to create something of impact, or simply to be consistent in our own personal endeavors. Through coaching and talking with friends and family, I’ve noticed many ways motivation can be created, transformed, or snuffed.
What lights you up?!
My fire is fanned by a variety of different factors. Sometimes it’s when I feel my best – when I am balanced, well rested, nourished, and exercised, and when my space is taken care of (Check out my last blog on that topic: Setting the Stage for Success). On the other hand, if I’m not feeling good about myself or where I’m at, when I feel lousy and lonely, that can stimulate a sense of urgency around improving my circumstances (if it doesn’t go in the opposite direction toward wallowing in self-pity and doubt, of course). A big boost for me is when I’m surrounded by loving and growth-minded people. Seeing what others are creating, thinking and feeling reminds me of the strength and potential we all carry. These reminders stimulate my creativity which multiplies my momentum, inspiration and confidence. On a similar wavelength, love and romance has always ignited my fire, exciting me to be my best self while exploring the possibilities partnership has to offer. In the last couple years, I’ve learned that a deeper connection through self-romance has similar results and mitigates the feeling that something is missing if an intimate connection with another isn’t in the forefront. Another huge motivator: deadlines. There is a very interesting catch I’ve noticed that if I have a completely open schedule and way too much aimless time on my hands, I tend to waste a lot more of it, sleeping too much, watching more TV, doom-scrolling, etc. When my schedule has more structure, engagements, and things that need my attention by a certain time, I use my downtime more wisely and better aligned with my personal aspirations.
Other collective motivators include having goals around helping others and making the world a better place, wanting to change how we feel in our bodies through diet and exercise, being fed up with the way things are, and of course carrying out our human instinct to create and share. By far, the most significant form of motivation I’ve noticed across the board is the connection we gain through community. Knowing there is a circle, no matter how small, that is rooting for us, inspiring us with their own growth, and there for reciprocal support is invaluable to our evolvement. It’s true that some can accomplish all their dreams in near-complete solitude, but that is vast minority. We need collective energy to thrive.
Now that we have reflected on a variety of ways one can be motivated, how is it maintained or transformed? It can be easy at times to create a solid routine and stick to it, while other times bring a fast and hot burning fire for a period of time and it dies down relatively quickly, leaving us awaiting the next burst of inspiring energy from a new or even scary endeavor. I personally experience a mix of both circumstances. Some of my routines are solid while others become weak over time and need a new method or perspective to keep it going. Maybe we get on a roll, feeling on top of the world and unstoppable and then something knocks us off course like a bad day, an injury, illness, relationships starting, ending or changing, weather, stress, changes in our environment, other responsibilities that need our immediate attention, lack of support, not feeling like we have enough time by the end of the day, or any other event or choice that isn’t in alignment with our inner fire.
So, what if we get knocked off course? What if we feel like we’ve used up our options and there is nothing left we can do to get where we want to go? Creating new opportunity from stale or mismatched methods can be a challenge, but it is entirely possible and beneficial. For example, you know you need to exercise to meet your ideal weight, strength or flexibility goals, but walking, running, or going to the gym don’t bring you joy. You’ve tried to get excited about it but you cannot convince yourself to get up and go. What if instead of “exercise” you reframe and shoot for “movement” each day. That can include stretching, dancing, turning a fun online video on at home, going swimming at a lake, pool or beach, going for a bike ride or hike with a friend, doing yard work or gardening, or anything else that gets your body moving and sweaty. Changing our perspective and thinking outside the box can really broaden our horizons and breathe new life into our internal fire.
It can sometimes feel impossible to get motivated again. We know we want to, but the days go by, and we get stuck in old habits that don’t serve us and mindsets that stifle our true happiness. I am least motivated when I’m feeling depressed, allowing my fears to speak louder than my strengths, or going through significant life changes that seem to stop me in my tracks. There are many times I feel there is a huge list of things that need to be done before I can get started on my passions, with seemingly endless obligations. It’s ok to have periods of time to rest our bodies and minds, they aren’t meant to always be on. If we are trying too hard to force things, it can push us in the opposite direction and be very discouraging, especially is we aren’t making progress where we want to. This can be a sign to slow down and recharge, lay some groundwork. Go back to the basics of focusing on rest, stress reduction and good nourishment. When we are ready, we can take things one step at a time, blending a few things we need to do with few things we want to do to build momentum again. Remember that taking a few steps back does not mean we have failed, because growth does not happen in a linear line.
What do you do if you don’t know what motivates you? It’s time to spend some quality time reflecting. Imagine what you want your future to look like and what goals you want to reach. Talk to people close to you and people you look up to (heck, sometimes I’ll even talk to strangers). See what they love doing and if it interests you, try it out! A quick search on the internet, or checking out local events posted at community centers, libraries and cafes could prove to be very fruitful if you’re willing to go outside your comfort zone to find out. What is in the way of getting up and going for it?
Breathe, remember what lights you up, and transform the sparks inside you into a powerful and passionate fire.
What do you think? Take some time to let me know what motivates you and what you relate to on this topic.
If you liked this post, please give it a “like”, subscribe to my email list to be notified when the next blog is posted, and share with anyone you think would enjoy it!
I appreciate you!
– Laura
