Lost in the Mourning

Lost in the mourning,
Who ever could have known?
A month ago, she was herself,
And now it isn’t so.

Big hearts and syncopation,
Are usual signs of fun,
Less often signs the body’s failing,
That soon she would be done. 

Only hidden symptoms,
until it was too late.
Two meds to save two vital organs,
Destroyed others on their way.

No appetite, dry nose and mouth,
Her kidney health displaced.
No energy to run or play,
Two of her favorite things.

Try as we might, her body knew,
This problem could not be solved.
We wanted her to heal so badly,
Her soul wanted to dissolve. 

Up all night awaiting signs,
That comfort was approaching,
It was, but not the way we hoped,
A grave fate was encroaching.

Lost in the morning, 
She passed through struggle, into peaceful sleep.
As dawn arrived, her last breath had left,
And all we could do was weep.

The darkest moment sparkled,
with bird calls to the sun.
A crisp breeze through the open window,
to cleanse our souls undone.

As hours pass, I lay there with her,
To know death, I am drawn,
And still I can’t stop asking:
How could we possibly go on?

Without her here, alert and strong,
No more singing silly Luna songs,
Without her cuddles all night long,
Won’t the heartbreak just go on?

She shows us, still with beauty,
That it’s easier than we think,
To let life run its course, and end,
Even if it’s in a blink.

In the end, we have no choice,
It’s the way it has to be.
She would have stayed longer if she could,
And that means a great deal to me.

It’s hard to believe ten days have passed,
The muscle memories that stay,
Are a ghost of better times,
Haunting, taunting, and playing keep away.

When I’m lost in the mo(u)rning,
I will look up at the sky,
Hold her memory so close to me,
And know it’s ok to cry.

Even when it seems impossible,
For our hearts to sink so deep,
And to come out the other end
with endless joy and love to keep.

The joy and love are inevitable,
In our hearts, Luna will stay.
I’m looking to the chance
that we will meet again someday.

Rest in peace, sweet girl.
June 30, 2016 – June 2, 2022


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